Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Please...Just Don't

Roxy is 3.5 years old.  We are thankful and blessed beyond measure to have a beautiful, smart and healthy little girl given her rough start in life.  

We were told that because of the severe preeclampsia which necessitated her early arrival, we would have a 50/50 shot of the same thing happening a second time.  We weren't told that we shouldn't have more children, just that it may prove just as dangerous, if not more so, than the first time.  

After thinking about it, we decided we would be happy and content with the baby we have and not take our chances to have another.  This was a hard and heavy decision to make, but we felt like we made the best decision for us.  Our family of three is complete.  

The first year or so passed and then it started:  "When are you having another?"  And it just keeps coming!

I always feel compelled to explain why we aren't having more children.  I don't know why because frankly its no one else's business.  I guess the raised eyebrows and "Really?" get to me.  

Before I was married with children, I would ask the same question of friends and family.  If only I could take all that back now.  

So to all of the friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, and business associates out there - please don't ask.  Just don't.  Its not your concern or your business and everyone makes the decision that works for them.  

And to anyone that I've ever asked a question like this, I am truly sorry.  Next time, I'll keep my nose where it belongs!


  1. Ok, totally random, but have you talked to your OB about those stats? My sister in law said that her OB told her it's really common in first pregnancies, but not so much for second babies unless you are a smoker or have other really high risk factors. I mean, I think everyone has to make their own decisions about family size and people should STFU, but make sure you're making your decision because it's best for you and not out of fear.

  2. After our miscarriage in Nov, we have been asked thousands of times if we are trying or when we plan to try and conceive again. Really? Do people not understand that this is a sensitive subject, and a decision that is made between me and my husband, and we God's guidance, we will see what the future holds? It's tough, because until you are in the situation.... you really don't think about just asking. I know I have been guilty of it in the past. But now, I wouldn't dare ask because I know it's personal and just exactly how it feels.


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