Monday, November 7, 2011

To have more or not to have more...

That is a big question, but especially so if one of your children was born prematurely or with complications.  

I have to say that the question plays in my head often.  I'd love to have more children and I know Roxy would be an awesome older sister.  

What if....

...we go through preeclampsia and an early delivery again?  My high-risk obstetrician gave me 50-50 odds of it happening again after Roxy was born.  With the severity of my preeclampsia, he said it would be a hard pregnancy with lots of bed rest and monitoring.  All of which is hard with a small child at home.  

...a second child isn't as lucky in the NICU?

...the next baby doesn't make it?

...I'm not strong enough to go through this again?

I have quite a few friends who have had premature babies and have went on to have more babies, both full-term and premature.  One of my biggest questions is "How did you decide to have more?"  Everyone has their own reasons and thought process.  Its not a clear-cut decision for anyone.  

For me and for us, right now, I think that if we are blessed with another baby, it is because it is meant to be.  We aren't purposely trying for another bundle of joy, but we won't turn one down, either.  

Have you had more children after a premature baby?  How did make the decision?  

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2 comments:

  1. This is an amazingly difficult decision. I, for one, know I am not strong enough to face even the possibility of this again. I am blessed with two beautiful boys and I will never forget their brother who left this world to become their guardian angel.

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  2. It's a decision that only you and Russ can make.

    T's premature birth doesn't factor into my decision not to have any more children. Other factors (ie LIFE) have helped me make that decision. But should I change my mind & decide to have another baby, I would not be deterred by T's prematurity & the fact that I am 50% more likely to have a second preemie. Instead, it would make me more cautious and I would plan a lot better the second time around. I would know the questions to ask, the risk factors, the things to look for. I would have a doctor who advocates for me & doesn't look down on me. I would change my circumstances so that IF I had another preemie, I might be a little more prepared.

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