Friday, August 19, 2011

Wedding Woes

Weddings are supposed to be happy events - for all concerned, but especially for the bride and the groom.  I've been a bridesmaid four times.  I've been a bride once.  I've planned three weddings and helped with countless others.  All of the occasions were happy, very much so, but it amazes me the stress that is involved with each occasion. 

Have you ever known someone to be kicked out of a wedding?  I do.  Two people, in fact. 

The first wedding was a friend who I'd known almost since diapers.  We grew up in the same neighborhood, went to the same church, and graduated from high school together.  We weren't so close after high school, but when she got engaged and was planning her wedding, we got super close.  Like hour-long phone calls every day close. 

Her maid of honor was a mutual friend and classmate.  It all started when the MOH couldn't go the exact date planned for the bridesmaids' dress picking. 

How is she going to be my maid of honor if she can't even find time to go dress shopping? 

I don't know. 

Should I ask her not to be my maid of honor? 

Um, how does that work anyway?

In the end, the bride kicked her out of the wedding.  As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure she got an invite to the wedding after all.  A new maid of honor was selected and I was there to fill in the desperately needed bridesmaid void. 

I never gave it much thought about how our mutual friend felt about being tossed out of the bridal party like a wilted rose.  Until I was in the same boat...

I was asked to be a bridesmaid in another childhood friend's wedding.  It was going to be a grand time.  We were going to have gorgeous dresses (Seriously, what were we thinking?). 

This time, the bride selected the gown we were to wear before our trip to the bridal store.  Our group trip was to try on and purchase our dresses.  When I was approached with the arranged date and time, I couldn't make the trip because of a dentist appointment.  I was going to be near the bridal salon later the same day and told the bride I would do my dress detail then.  All was forgiven about missing the appointment and I went to the bridal salon as instructed.

At my arrival, I was told that there was no way I would be able to see the inside of a dressing room to try on the dress before purchasing it.  Given that I had been in one wedding just months before and had already tried on and selected a dress for yet another wedding (all the same size and fit without any alterations), I ordered the dress without trying it on. 

The next week, I confirmed that I had indeed bought the dress and was ready to fulfill my duties as a bridesmaid.  Right down to the overexpensive hair and makeup job I was expected to get on the day of. 

A few days later, I received an email berating me for lying to the bride about trying my dress on.  We bickered back and forth about what I supposedly said versus what I really said. 

If you have to lie about trying on a dress, maybe you don't need to be in the wedding.  I don't need all this stress right now. 

And that is how I got kicked out of a wedding.  I was invited after all was said and done, but refused to go because I was so completely beside myself with the unjust way I had been treated by Bridezilla. 

A year or so later, we started talking again and are back to being friends. 

In the end, I can say I was tossed from a bridal party like a wilted rose and I survived. 

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